Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Still stuck on beauty...

I feel a bit embarrassed but I'm still thinking about the same thing that I last posted. In spite of many adventures and meaningful conversations, my mind and heart seem unbendingly stuck on this idea of beauty and making love to the world (Thank you Marty, Emma, and Kati).

I scrubbed the tub this weekend. It was grimy and slimy. The drain was clogged with foulness unworthy of description. And I caught myself thinking, how can I make love to this tub? 

Receiving the world in a poetic way can be easy with an abundance of beauty. When thing get ugly, however, I tend towards judgment. Who lets the tub get this gross!? Why does that person let the drain fill with scum and hair?! And on and on and on. I'm sure you know how this conversation goes. It almost always takes on a me vs. the world format. And I'm always right. And whoever is on the other side is most definitely wrong wrong wrong. 

As I listened to my self-righteous banter I thought, this sounds like hostile love-making. No fun.

Making love to the world is so much more than a sensory exercise and beauty extends beyond the pleasantries of life. I know it sounds silly, but I opened my heart to the task and behind my judgement I found tenderness, compassion, and unconditional love. 

I don't know if any of you are feeling particularly soft and reflective lately. I certainly am. And I've found that I've been more open to painful and scary things. If any of you are there with me, or maybe your not but you're craving that, I'm sending you all my bestest Love.

Another set of visitors this weekend! So lucky. We hiked the Gorge and soaked in  the goodness of one another's company. Every time I visit with Sophie she leaves me with a nugget of her wisdom.

Lying next to the river with Becca and Sophie. Soothes my soul.

New gardening hat courtesy of Elizabeth!

Can you believe it!? We had a freeze here. The Farmers Almanac predicted it would freeze May 27th, which I thought was a load of baloney. The warm spring erased memories of the unpredictablity of the weather here. Well you won't hear me second guessing the Almanac again. It got ten degrees colder than the weather forecast suggested it would. I lost basil and my winter squash.

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